Snow Day!

 

Thanks to adrenaline, I am wide awake. It's Friday and it's a snow day. Report cards are due soon. So the logical thing to do would be to grade my mountains of papers. But I blog instead.

My goal this year was to really become who I am by being open to new things and it has been tough. Because as you get older, you are so set in your ways. Change? Why change? It's scary. Unpredictable. 

I'm the worst when it comes to it. And yet that same stubbornness that keeps me from changing is nudging me toward the goal I had set out for myself this year. I can't give up. 

Personally I feel like I've been so negative and down. And that's when I try to think about what I should be grateful for. So here I go:

My parents: I am the most blessed when it comes to parents. No matter what, I know they are here for me. They worry, nag, and bother me with ridiculous requests. They still buy me water so I don't die. 

Like most Korean children with the stereotypical parents, I used to wish they would express their love more. But they show it in a different way. They would give up everything for me, if it was to better me. They've already sacrificed so much. That's love.

My faith: Who am I, that God calls me his own? It's not deserved, and I forget all the time how much God loves me. Sometimes it's a hard road to walk, but I know the reward will be that much greater. 

My health: Being sick stinks. But it does put things in perspective and let's you appreciate your health. And getting older makes you think about it even more. I get random aches all the time now. I think I sprained my thumb from too much texting... Or candy crush. 

My migraines are more frequent and I missed 2 days of school from the flu this year, which never happened before. So waking up without something hurting is definitely a blessing.

My friends: The family you choose. Or perhaps not. Sometimes it makes me sad when I think about the friends I had when I was little who are no longer my friends. 

So that makes me that much more grateful for the ones I have. They accept my crazy, nonsensical thoughts. They bring me soup when I'm sick and pray for me. They worry and nag like my parents. And encourage me and just make life better. 

My job/my kids: As much as I complain about work, I am thankful to be a teacher. As under appreciated as we are by some, I know my job isn't just a job, but a catalyst. If I can affect even one child, I know they in turn will affect others. That's why I keep going. After all the pressure and responsibility of getting students to where they need to be. From parent emails to meetings, behavior issues and yes, those dreading papers to grade. I accept it because, well, I have to. But I teach because I am meant to. It brings me joy to see them learning something and enjoying it (and not falling asleep).

My friends at work keep me sane (sometimes..or else their crazy rubs off on me) and accept my shortcomings. I work with the best of the best , which I want to be.

And my kids. Oh, those children. Sometimes they make me want to scream and pull my hair out. They bother me, cough on me, and I think one even spit on me (an accident, I hope). 

They've fallen asleep during my "boring" lessons and expect me to clean their messes (but like I've taught my kids, I am NOT their maid!).  They still complain sometimes. I can repeat the same directions 10 times or answer a question and they raise their hand and ask the SAME question.

But they're kids. I really do forget that because I treat them like little adults sometimes. I am so hard on them, and yet they still love me. I yell and they hug me at the end of the day. They make me laugh and say ridiculous, funny things that give me material for Facebook posts. Even as I write this in the warm comfort of my apartment and liking the fact that I don't have to wear real clothes and just a shirt and striped leggings, I miss them. Who hates hearing they're the best? And it's fun to communicate by just looking at them. Sometimes they will surprise you by what they know and have learned or what they accomplish in one day.
Sometimes they actually learn what I try to teach them.

One day I made a mistake on the board, and one of my students said, "Are you making a lot of mistakes today?" (Apparently it wasn't my first mistake that day). I was about to say my usual,  "Teachers make mistakes, too." But then he said, "It's okay. Teachers can mess up too."

And I hope beyond academics I am teaching them how to be a good person. To make mistakes and learn from them, but also accept that we will mess up sometimes. I want them to know, they can try again.

There are countless other things I am grateful for that I cannot all type out.
Now I'm going to enjoy this unexpected day off!